"In that case, I'm a black guy"

Wednesday, 25 January 2012

24/1/12 Cube Update

Hey, so, I have a commons/uncommons cube.  It's been an ongoing persuit for about a year now.  It started with quite a few medicore cards due to my limited collection of old stuff but building and pimping it over the months (and continuing, no doubt) has quickly become one of my favourite Magic-related hobbies.  The admin work that goes along with it has, perhaps sadly, become almost as enjoyable as playing with it.  Anyway, with that in mind, I decided it might be fun to post whenever I make a large update and explain my reasoning.  Maybe it will help fellow cubists, or maybe it will just be completely self-indulgent, but here goes...


Black
Fume Spitter > Dismember
Shrivel > Infernal Harvest
Giant Scorpion > Boneshredder
Ruthless Cullblade > Snuff Out
Wicked Reward > Reanimate
Crypt Ripper > Dread Return
Footbottom Feast > Animate Dead

As you can probably see, a lot of this is just routine maintenance.  My old card pool is severely lacking and so a fair few cube staples are missing.  Most of the choices are obvious: mediocre creatures replaced by must-have cube cards; medicore spells replaced by far superior ones.  Nothing all that exciting, but at least the sweet Premium Series foils look suh-weet!

Blue
Dispel > Mystical Teachings
Runeboggle > Capsize
Force Spike > Willbender
Again, some regular mainenance, but you might notice that all of the 'outs' are conditional counterspells.  Counterspells are not as good in limited anyway, and I find that almost nobody uses the conditional ones.  Even Spell Pierce, which I like much more than these three, is ready to be chopped when I come across something better.  The replacements are fairly obvious inclusions which, again, I just didn't have access to when I first built the cube.

Green
Snake Umbra > Rancor
Territorial Baloth > Harmonize
Wild Nacatl > Eternal Witness
Snake Umbra was basically a deliberate substitute for Rancor until I got hold of one, not much to say there.  Harmonize was something I always wanted to add but seemed to always forget when I was cube shopping.  Finally traded for one so in it goes.  Eternal Witness was a similar story, except now I have a sweet FNM promo one.  Wild Nacatl seemed like an easy exchange since, without duals or even fetches, it's not very good.  Printing some proxy duals and fetches for my cube is something i've considered, but i don't know how much they'd swing the balance in favour of the guy who has them.

Tuesday, 24 January 2012

Dark Ascension MBC Spoiler Review

It's new set time again, and since Innistrad was so awesome (and i'm trying to get back into the writing habit) I thought i'd give the black-centric set review another airing.  However, rather than bore you with the usual long-winded "unplayable in constructed, okay in limited" fare, I decided i'll spare you the boring cards and just talk about the ones that most people are probably insterested in.



Well, shit.
Curse of Thirst

Before you get all up in arms, no, this is not a good card.  It's noteworthy to me, however, becaues i feel like curses in general have been a massive disappointment - a missed opportunity.  It feels like there was a lot of cool design space opened up by being able to enchant players but only one of them has seen any constructed play and one other is good in a niche limited deck.  Curse of Thirst is a prime example of a card that sounds like it could be reasonable, but when you realise that you have to play a bunch of awful cards to turn it into a more expensive Sulphuric Vortex you should be immediately turned off.

Death is red now?
Death's Caress

In limited, this card is very acceptable.  I just wish it cost a bit less so it could make me not hate Standard as much as i do right now.  Then again, it still doesn't deal with Geist of St Traft, and Delver will still have done six damage before you gain a measly two life.  Never mind!




Value, anyone?
Farbog Boneflinger

In years gone by - or if this cost one or two mana less - this might've been a reasonable constructed card.  As it is, it's an excellent limited card with just the kind of value that i love.  It's pretty much a gauranteed 2-for-1, what more needs to be said?  It's no Skinrender, but it's probably better than Mokrut Banshee and it's easier to cast than either of them.

I guess she taps for Bloodline Keeper
Fiend of the Shadows

I'm writing about this card because it's the kind of effect that people always want to be good, but never lives up to the expectation.  Remeber Praetor's Grasp from New Phyrexia?  Remember all those sweet decks it got played in?  At least in limited a 5/5 flier for three is fine and if you play against another black deck the upside is potentially huge.



Everything but the Kitchen Finks
Geralf's Messenger

Sorry, but this absolutely is not the new Kitchen Finks.  The comparisons are natural, but they are only skin deep, and this guy doesn't have a lot of skin to begin with.  Let's be clear, this is un-castable outside of monoblack, whereas Kitchen Finks' hybrid mana made it very easy to play.  Undying may be stronger than Persist and doing two damage is usually better than gaining two life, but all of that is irrelevant when you can't cast the spell in the first place.  Plus, it doesn't even work with Melira in modern, meaning that this will probably be one of those powerful but homeless cards that crop up in every set.

He's coming, very slowly
Gravecrawler

This is a really tough one for me.  The fact that it only dies to graveyard hate is good, but the fact that it's a 2/1 with no evasion is less good.  It's cheaper and easier to cast than the obvious comparison, Bloodghast, but its recursion is much less powerful without haste or any form of evasion.  I want this guy to be good, but i'm not sold.  Would it have been too good with Fear for one more mana?

I hope I don't fa-aaaaah
Tragic Slip

Cheesiest art in quite a while, but this is a card.  In limited, this is probably the best Morbid card after Reaper of the Abyss.  In constructed, is this strictly better than Wring Flesh?  Maybe not strictly, but being able to kill a Delver on turn one, and then being able to kill ANY non-hexproof creature at any given time is something that gives me a little hope for control in standard.

Monday, 2 January 2012

Alara un-unbroken (as in, it's broken, the book was very bad)


It was about three years ago now when I found The Gathering Dark in a charity shop for 50p.  Having just gotten back into magic earlier that year, I snapped it up (and what a bargain – Amazon lists it at £14.99!).  It was a fairly appropriate first step in a way, despite being several years old.  One of the themes of the current set was ‘trap’ cards, and The Gathering Dark was certainly that.

Having read a fair few Warcraft and WoW novels (several of which are written by the same author as TGD), I had low expectations but they were actually somewhat exceeded.  Now, let’s be clear, this was no classic of fantasy writing, but it was solid enough – a sort of literary equivalent of period costume movies like Kingdom of Heaven: entertaining enough if you don’t wish to tax your brain too heavily.

The plot made sense, the characters were just about deep enough to be fairly engaging, and the writing was passable.  I soon learned that this was the exception rather than the rule.

That Christmas, I asked for the Shards block novel, Alara Unbroken.  My God, what an awful mess of a book!  AU showed me clearly the difficulties that must stem from attaching a story to a game, rather than vice versa.  The first problem was that the overarching story of the Alara involves five different worlds or ‘shards.’  In-game, this gave identity to cards and colours, and worked very well.  In the novel it was a disaster.  The author, Doug Beyer, tried to give page time to all five shards, meaning a whole host of characters of varying importance was necessary to breathe life into the shards.  And yet, almost all of the well-developed ones were on Bant, rendering the other shards’ characters redundant.

The novel lacked direction, and would have been far better served to ignore the other shards.  Sarkhan’s subplot on Jund was tedious but relevant, so too Ajani’s on Naya.  Grixis and Esper are barely memorable – something about humans trying to escape the demons of Grixis, while Esper was something an artifact chap swimming in the sea… or something.

Then, of course, all the loose threads (a very appropriate description) culminated in a huge battle between Ajani and Nicol Bolas, making the other subplots feel even less important.  These kinds of fights are rarely entertaining and, in my experience, most novels try to avoid them because of it.  Not to be perturbed, though, Beyer dived head first into his best impression of a Dragonball Z battle.  It was dragged-out, dull, and oh so very predictable – and I don’t just mean in the fact that the good guy won.  The way Ajani won could be seen coming from the first time you knew they would fight one another.

A lot of MTG story nerds decry the fact that there is only one novel per block nowadays (there used to be one per set).  AU showed me both sides of that coin.  Heads: less books means less poorly-written novels tacked onto a story which is designed primarily to be a card game.  Tails: more books would have given each shard room to breathe and develop in Alara.

As I alluded to earlier, the problem really comes from trying to staple a novel onto a card game with only skin-and-bones story.  The fact that very few decent authors need this kind of work is also an issue, of course.  Sometimes it’s going to work, other times it will fall flat on its face but almost never is it going to be better than a “real” book.  Experience has borne this out for me to the point where I will only buy canon novels when they’re a) cheap and b) I have nothing better to read.  Then again, with Innistrad being famously ‘top-down design’ perhaps the next novel will be readable.  Fingers crossed!

Monday, 10 October 2011

Sexiest Plays of Innistrad so far

Innistrad has been playable for a few weeks now, and the response has been universally positive in my experience.  The flavour is probably the best ever, the cards are fun, and as a limited format it has been very enjoyable so far.  Having drafted the format a few times I've already had a handful of fun/silly plays, so let's count 'em.

Snap Pick: Last Wednesday I finally managed to open a Snapcaster Mage - yeah, i was pretty happy about it.  However, I was drafting from my fatpack and fell prey to the urge to rare draft for value.  I ended up with a three colour deck, and Owen convinced me to play a single Plains to flashback my Unburial Rites.  I got crushed in match one, got a bye in match two, and then the magic happened in match three.  Up 1-0, I had milled Devil's Play and was only running two Mountains (yeah, this was a SWEET deck!).  I'm pretty far ahead on-board, but I can only swing with my Invisible Stalker and he's on eight life.  Then I draw Tiago Chan: sweet.  Swing for one unblockable, put you to seven; cast Snappy, flashback Devil's Play with my one in-play Mountain with X = seven.  Fun times.


SlowIf you say so: The general consensus has been that Innistrad is a fairly typically slow limited format.  But yesterday I had a turn five kill and, messed up a turn six kill and almost killed on turn six off a mulligan to four.  Yeah, I was red and yeah my opponent did little-to-nothing, but it was pretty fun... for me.

Turn one: Reckless Waif, go. 
Him: Plains go.
Turn two: flip the Waif, swing for three (17), cast Village Ironsmith.
Him Forest go.
Turn three: flip the Ironsmith, swing for six (11)
Him: chump blocker, go
Turn four: swing for six, gets blocked (8)
Him: chump blocker, I Brimstone Volley his face (5)
Turn five: Swing for six, one guy gets blocked (2), Bump in the Night (-1)

So, yeah, it's possible but won't happen all that often.

Could've, but didn't: Back to my four-colour monstosity for a moment. I had the opporunity to make a ridiculous but ultimately pointless play against the same guy.  Snappy and Devil's Play are both in my graveyard thanks to Trepidation Blade.  I draw Unburial Rites with eight lands on-board.  So the fancy but uselesss play; cast Rites (three lands untapped), put Snappy in play (one land untapped), flashback Devil's Play for zero!  Sweet, right?

Saturday, 10 September 2011

Sample Conversation From Sheffield Magic

Patrick Bateman: Mythicthatdoesnothing is awesome, could it be good in a new control deck?  It only costs six and is almost as good as a titan.  All you have to do is sacrifice 8 creatures, discard your hand and and exile all nonland cards from your library and you have a 6/6 for 3!

John Roberts: No Patrick, you are in fact very wrong.  Titans are just better but here are four paragraphs about the subject anyway... [SEE MORE]

Stephen McAleer: That's what she said!

Michael Radford: I'm not sure, but it could be pretty good in limited.

Michael Boon: Cn i boro four of them 4 FNM this week?


Alistair Kennedy: Something something Legacy something something.

Stephen McAleer: Okay, but seriously, this card could be okay if there's a deck that wants to remove all its relevant spells and empty its hand quickly whilst discarding its hand.  Grave Titan is probably better, but Mythicthatdoesnothing might see a little play.

Andy Mather: It's not great but i guess we have to do the best we can with what Wizards gives us ^^

Owen Debenham: You're all wrong.

Monday, 22 August 2011

What i did on my Holidays: AKA my First Nationals

UK Nationals happened this past weekend.  It was in Sheffield - practically my home town (Barnsley doesn't have a real book shop, ergo it is not a real town) - so I pulled together a blue/black control list for Patriot Games pre-nats standard tournament, packed up about 50% of my belongings and headed to my Gran's house to live in Chapeltown for four nights.

Night one was literally as medicore as possible.  I went 2-1-2 (the middle is a tie, for Americans who don't know how numbers work), which I kind of expected.  I think blue/black control is fine in general, but the meta game at Patriot is sporadic, and with a bunch of unknown (to me) players attending as well, I was pretty worried about the aggro decks.  My losses came against an interesting Jund pod deck by Rob, which I feel like I should've won, and Quinton's mono red, which is basically a write-off.  The whole match with Quinton lasted about ten minutes, including sideboard and shuffling time - that should tell you all you need to know.  The draw came against a pod-less version of RUG.  I had only played against that deck once before, months ago, and i think i made a couple of play errors.  It was a very intense game, which i feel like i could have won if i was more experienced in the matchup, but that's what happens when you only play a handful of standard games per month.

My wins were fairly straight forward, not really worth talking about.  I beat a homebrew red/blue control list, which got mana screwed in both games, and a bizarre red/white/black homebrew with hawks, equipment and Dark Tutelage.  My opponent, Matt, who borrowed the deck from a friend, graciously killed himself with the enchantment in game one, while game two was a fairly straightforward Solemn-into-Sphinx demolition job.

I went home feeling like i would probably skip the standard LCQ next day, even if i scrubbed out in the limited one.  The meta felt pretty stacked against U/B, and i'm far from the best pilot for it so i went to bed hoping to open some titans in the morning.

A quick word on M12 limited.  So far, it has been cruel to me.  At the prerelease i used up all my bomb-luck by opening a Grave Titan and Sphinx of Uthuun.  Since then, i have lucked-out horribly in every draft, even if i had a decent deck (see the post about game day, for example).  In short, i felt like i was due some luck.

But if there is such a person as lady luck, i must've pissed her off more than i thought.  The first - and, tellingly, only draft - actually went okay.  I opened a Sorin's Vengeance in pack one and passed nothing in black except for a Wring Flesh.  I picked up a Berserker and Incinerate back-to-back, then saw basically zero red playables for the rest of pack one.  No problem, I would just play blue/black control in limited, too.

Pack two continued down that path, with a handy Doom Blade being the highlight.  In pack three, i don't really remember what happened, except that i somehow got a third pick Sorin's Vengeance.  Now, that seems pretty good to me; if i can stall out until seven, the game should be pretty un-losable, right?  The problem is that i got pretty greedy.  With little decent removal, i decided to splash the Incinerate and a Shock - yep, i splashed with two triple-black spells in my deck.  And no, i didn't have a single Manalith.  In retrospect i don't really know what i was thinking, but i at least had the decency to cut my Devouring Swams so i didn't need any double-mana until turn five.

The first match actually went surprisingly well, lulling me into a fall sense of security.  I won the entire match with just five attacks.  Granted, in game two he wrecked me with green beaters before i could do a single point of damage, but games one and three were comfortable wins.

Match two showed me just what was wrong with my deck, however.  I played against the U/W aggro deck with a bunch of pegasi and drakes.  Game one lasted a LONG time before he managed to "out-dude" me and finish the game off.  I did resolve a Vengeance - my only damage of the whole match, as it turned out - but i didn't see the 2nd one and couldn't draw enough guys to keep up.  In game two i mulliganed to five and got stuck on lands.  My only spell - a Skywinder Drake - got Mana Leaked and i quickly scooped.

At this point, i figured that i would drop out if i didn't win my last match.  A 1-2 record would make it so that even 3-0'ing the 2nd draft probably wouldn't be good enough.  So when i sat down opposite Russel (of Worldslayer and card-throwing fame) i did so with equal measures of excitement and dread.  Excitement because i know i'm a better player than him, but dread because i know how shitty i would feel if i exited nationals because of losing to him.

Sure enough, i cast a Vengeance after his green and white dorks beat me down to 13.  I stablised comfortably from there and killed him.  A few nerves dealt with, but in game two it was almost as one-sided as my mull to five in the previous match.  I did zero damage while his crappy dudes, and a massacre wurm, ate my life very quickly.  So, game three, i was on the play, and I kept two Vengeances, four lands and a dude.  Oh, god, why?  I've read a lot of pro players speaking about how they will play worse and keep bad hands against a player they view as inferior and this was a perfect example.

But rather than simply crushing me, the game teased me cruelly.  I drew pretty well, and we stalled out for quite a while - me at 15 life and him at 11.  I bashed him down to 6 but then he drew guys and i stumbled.  His board was big and scary - including an un-thirsted Wurm - but I had a chump blocker and Royal Assasin with six lands, including triple black.  I untapped, failed to draw a land and passed the turn.  He untapped, slammed a Celstial Purge and killed my Royal Assasin.  No worries, I still have a chump blocker and plenty of life.  He passed the turn, I untapped, miss on land but played another chump blocker before i passed.  I still had plenty of time, I assumed.  He untapped, slammed a Crown of Empires, tapped my biggest blocker and killed me with exactly 15 damage.  Oops.

Still, with four days hindsight, there's no point in crying about bad luck.  My first nationals taught me a harsh but important lesson - one that i can apply to any of the competitive games i play.  Concentrate on the game, not on my opponent.  Sure, keep an eye for mistakes and know where you can get an edge, but you still have to play well.  Magic isn't a game where the best player always wins.  Underestimating an opponent is almost as bad as, oh, lets say, splashing cards in a deck with triple-black spells.  Splashing in a deck with two triple-black cards is stupidly greedy, especially in a high-ish level event like nationals.

I can bitch about getting unlucky with the mulligan in round two and not drawing land in round three, but they wouldn't have been such problems if i had built a better deck.  Having basically one win condition is not a viable option unless you really build around it.  This weekend showed me that i need to play a lot more than i do.

Still, on the plus side, i did play my first ever minimasters, which is pretty awesome fun.  I even won at my first ever attempt, thanks in no small part to Fireball.  I did volunteer my services to Rich Hagon, who seemed like a thoroughly decent bloke, but i ended up being too addled and busy to actually go and see him again to do some writing.  Ho-hum, i definitely need to be more prepared for the next event like this.

But overall, i was pretty disappointed with my performance at nationals.  I enjoyed the weekend as a whole, but I feel like i let myself down in terms of playing and drafting.  And as for two-headed giant, well... that seriously was annoying unlucky, completely outplaying our opponents, only to die to a stupid overrun.  Best-of-one is not cool, and if i'd known it was like that i probably wouldn't have signed up in the first place.  I still think we could've gone 4-2 if Tom had stuck around though (he went home when we were 1-2).  Our pool was incredible!

Oh well... next year, eh?

Tuesday, 12 July 2011

Just because Solemn is back, doesn't mean Golems is a deck

About six weeks ago, i started playing on Cockatrice.  It has its flaws, and you play against a noticable number of mongoloids, but it's free and i'm always broke.  At least it automatically adds pictures, which is an improvement on Magic Workstation.

Naturally, i've been testing Mono Black Control a fair bit and today I had a beautiful moment.  My opponent was playing an "original" white/green Golem deck using Solemn Simulacrum (good) and Tempered Steel (good) alongside the Splicers (not so much).  Naturally, i drew badly and was playing my removal spells almost immediately - the incidental lifegain just about keeping me alive.  After he cast Precursor Golem i had to use my Black Sun's Zenith just to stay alive, shrinking all his Golems to 1/1 (and killing the Splicers, but who cares).

And then my eyes lit up.  I drew Consume Spirit and laughed out loud as i sank all my mana in to it, happily raising my life total from two to 26 and killing all of his Golems, thanks to Precusor.  I was happy to stabilise for the time being, but it was even better than I first thought.  Looking at the chat window, my opponent had given me a fairly standard "??"  followed by "you targetted Lodestone." I explain to him, since he apparently doesn't understand his own cards, that it copies to every Golem since Lodestone Golem is, shockingly, a Golem.

Next, he did was any self-respecting 'netizen' would do when made to look like a moron: he left the game.